Inappropriate kids toys come in many shapes and sizes – just like the body parts they sometimes resemble. Toy developers have to come up with enough ideas every day to quench kids’ unrelenting need to have more “stuff.” It’s understandable that their ideas can’t all be winners, but some of these inappropriate toys for kids sink worlds below the realm of “bad idea” all the way down to the “what the hell were you thinking” variety. We’ve gathered some of the world’s most awful children’s toys here so you can see what we mean.
There are more than one of these inflatable products floating around, and even more videos of kids coming out of these contraptions that look a little bit phallic. But the red color of this one was just too much. Way too much. And the fact that the entire structure is phallic and extremely long, well, pretty much put the nail in the coffin that yes: our children are this inflatable structure’s love juices.
Depending on your familiarity with human anatomy, you may imagine more than a few parts that this looks like: take your pick because there is no right answer. The only way this product could be any worse is if it was a slip and slide with water from the next item…
2.Lion King Toy
This (probably) McDonald’s Rafiki toy is meant to mirror and recreate that inspiring, beautiful and memorable moment from the Disney classic The Lion King where Rafiki (the baboon/monkey/wise-man) raises Simba over his head to show the entire kingdom their new prince and f*ture king.
The toy has been made to allow Rafiki to hold Simba just a liiiiittle too far down. So far down that this becomes really, really disturbing.
Unless this product was developed, tested, assembled, and sold by blind robots, someone along the way must have seen the issue with this toy. You might go as far as to say that this was a conscious choice by some juvenile toy maker, because it is really hard to believe that with all the development that goes into toys, this made it through various tests without a hitch.
This, of course, is the infamous Wolverine Bop Hammer. This hammer makes a squeaky sound when you hit it against things. You know, like in the Wolverine comics (???)
It’s an inflatable toy, which makes sense, as any other kind of hammer would probably be too dangerous for kids.
00:26 – 00:56 You don’t have to watch the whole video, but look at where they put the spigot on the toy. Where someone has to put their mouth to blow up the toy. Check out exactly where they put it. We all really really loved Wolverine as a kid… but I don’t think any one of us loved him THAT much.